Saturday Yoga – Let Go or Be Dragged

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My hips flexors woke me up this morning.

Oooh weeeeee were they sore.

It’s a good thing. It’s hard for me to get into parts of my hips. But yesterday at Jivamukti Jersey City, Austin’s class went deep in my hips even though it didn’t seem like it at the time. I think it’s because I was letting go.

In the midst of change I can get a little down right stubborn.

But as the asana practice took us into the hips I found myself thinking about my previous relationships. Nothing specific. Just a feeling. Instead of ignoring it or distracting myself, I decided to go deeper. Typically when I fold my hip flexors clench. But yesterday there was none of that. I don’t know if it has to do with some recent changes in my life. But the more I let go of things and situations that don’t serve me, the more my body opens up to the present.

My hips don’t lie.

2015 is my year of living mindfully. Are you here, now?

Namaste y’all.

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Sunday Yoga – Live with a Whole Heart

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2015 is my year of living mindfully.

I’m working on being present in every moment. In a class on January 1, David Life talked about the notion of waiting.

Am I living when I am waiting? Or have I temporarily taken myself out of the moment because I am anticipating what’s next? And when I do that am I really living in a way that’s present?

The next time I catch myself waiting, for anything it’ll be a time to be present by observing. There’s no point in my living five steps ahead waiting for something that hasn’t happened yet.

Namaste y’all.

Love Unconditionally and Don’t Forget to Breathe

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I’m sidelined from my asana practice until my wrist heals. It’s annoying, but it’s also a chance to pause and reflect.

I love my practice without any conditions. When I can’t get to my mat it doesn’t mean that I’m not doing yoga, it simply means that I’m not doing asana. Yoga is not just about handstands and working on fancy arm balances (though they are fun). My practice loves me back. It has no expectations, no judgements. Yoga accepts me as I am whether I am feeling strong or weak.

My yoga is more than what happens on my mat. Yoga is a way that I get through ups and downs.

Yoga is how I work through pain when I am hurt. I’m given a way to move more slowly and listen to what part of my being is calling out.

It’s a chance to say to my body, I hear you. I am listening. Things don’t always go the way I want, but things occur the way they do. Yoga is my way to acceptance of how things are, not how I wish them to be. In this moment, I am restricted in movement. Rather than fight or deny it, I’m being with that idea, because it is so. Acceptance opens up a path to healing. How can I not love this? Yoga has shown me that I must love all of the time, no matter the circumstances.

Most importantly though, yoga is how I breathe. Yoga is how I love.

Yoga is life.

Namaste y’all.

 

 

Don’t forget breathe. Keep head your above water, but don’t forget to breathe.

-Alexi Murdoch

 

Adventures in Meditation – “Life Just Isn’t That Obvious”

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‘Live just isn’t that obvious.’

 

This text came from my friend Kathleen. When you’re friends with poets they drop one line bombs with a quickness and on the reg. She’s more subtle than me.

I would have to follow up the text with:

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Fortunately, subtlety isn’t lost on this bull in a china shop. You may think astrology is hooey, but I’m a Taurus through and freaking through.

Anyway…subtle…point…

 

She sent this in response my waxing philosophical about my love life.

I’m the worst when it comes to dating.

The. Worst. Say it with me, the worst.

Work life seemed easier. Get ‘er done. Even when the terrain is difficult like say, navigating a whole new career I can manage to strategize, plan and execute. But a date? Relationship? Smooth.

 

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I made bad decisions and compounded those stupid decisions withworse ones. Antics ensued. It was easier to make work my relationship rather working on my relationships. Yeah, I knew what I was doing. I just didn’t fix it.

Until meditation.

Being still allows for thoughts to come and go. Something happens when we look inward. The sense of vastness at times overwhelms me. On some days it’s all I can do not to run away from the infinite potential discoveries. The is so much inside. On others, I find the answers without knowing it. In the abyss is a whisper of hope or encouragement disguised as an inhale or exhale. The is powerhttp://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/yogaxl.jpg in my mantra as I sit- I realize more and more that I know so little.

It allows me to be present even when I’m not meditating. This is great. And shitty. No more pushing things down and not dealing with them.

Recently, I had a great date with someone who didn’t fit what I’d imagined. I began my usual routine of trying to blow them off and a strange thing occurred.

I made a different choice. In fact, I made a choice wrapped in honesty despite my fear.

I called ___ and said, “I owe you an apology. I was being an idiot. I like you and instead of saying that I’m a little concerned that we’re different but I’d like to see I was just trying to push you away. If it’s not too late, I’d really like to start again and have you see that I’m not totally crazy, though clearly I have some issues.”

I was expecting rejection. Second chances are a gift.

And you know what? I got one.

While it did turn out that our lives were in different places- if I hadn’t been paying attention in the moment, I wouldn’t have decided to take a leap.

This is what meditation has done for me. I’m more awake than I’ve ever been. Like I said earlier, this is both fantastic and crappy. But, it is life.

Playing sliding doors for a moment…If I had played out old stories nothing would have changed.

Things don’t have to work out the way you want, but if you are brave enough to be here, now- it seems that things work out the way they should.

And embracing that is what yoga is all about.

It’s a good day.

Namaste y’all.