Class on Tuesday was awesome. I love the excitement that gets generated, and seeing students progress is pure joy. As soon as c lass ended and I went home to make my green juice, the tank was empty.
I was dog tired. I’ve managed to sail through these first 43 of my 108 days of yoga without any issue. This was the first day that I came up against the dreaded ‘wall’.
You know that feeling that your body can’t push forward. Everything feels and sounds like it’s happening in slow motion. Actually I was closer to that little kid kind of tired, you know when munchkins refuse to admit that their crankiness is a direct result of physical exhaustion.
Yet, I was super productive getting a bunch of stuff done despite being dressed in my best cranky pants.
I hit my mat for an hour at home but needed to rung out, so off to hot class I went.
To say the class was a struggle was an understatement.
I slogged through half wondering if I was crazy to think I was ready to do 108 days of yoga.
Then I took a real breath.
Unfortunately, this little moment of clarity didn’t take place until I was on my way home. I sat on the train sweat covered and achy, water bottle to my lips. (Manhattan water is amazing. This seems insane, but it’s true. The water at my studio is unimaginably cold.)
As I sipped the water on the train I smiled.
I only have to be in the moment. I was getting caught up in what I had done in the past and what I was going to keep doing in order to sail through to day 108.
What I failed to do was live in the moment and understand that my journey is about what happens right now. Right in this moment.
In this moment I breathe in. In this moment I breathe out. There is nothing else to do. Worry doesn’t exist in the now.
So, there is no wall. There are only moments when I am tired and moments that I rest. If I can remember this every day- I got this enlightenment thing locked up.
Not. Bloody. Likely.
No worries though I’ve got my mat and my breath.
This is yoga. And it happens one breath at a time.