Over the weekend we did a Thai Yoga massage workshop. It was an introduction to Thai yoga as well as a basic exploration of energy and its affect on the body and mind. This kind of massage relies on a trusting partnership between the giver and receiver. It also leaves both parties exposed and vulnerable as this exchange takes place. We pressed and twisted each other until we were loosey goosey. I mention this because someone described us as looking blissed out after it was all over.
Bliss was not a word I used very often. And I love to wear a word out.
I don’t think I used the word bliss because it was something that I didn’t think was attainable. Bliss was more a location than a state of mind.
Bliss was a beach in St. Martin. And now that I’m thinking about it, if I visualized my blissful place I wasn’t even in the picture.
Yoga teacher training has rearranged all that nonsense. Yoga is an exercise in addition by subtraction. Removing attachments adds love to my life and makes it more peaceful. Eliminating negative thinking leaves room for acceptance of the impossible.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the first Yoga Sutra lately, which loosely translates to ‘and now the discourse on yoga begins’. My practice is the jumping off point for me to begin meditation.
I used to shy away from this aspect of yoga, it felt too uncomfortable. This is embarrassing to admit, but I didn’t want to be accountable to the spiritual. I wanted the physical benefits without having to look deeper. So much of my life before yoga was this way.
Shedding that person has been easy in private and difficult in public. I still have work to do regarding attachment to ego and public expectations. But I’m hoping because I see this, there’s a chance I’m headed in the right direction. These revelations leave me feeling naked.
Previous thinking whispers that I should be wiser than I am at this age.
This is yoga. Is this bliss? I don’t know, but I do love it.